Company Men Volume 2

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Hey,

This past weekend was the first weekend in a very long time without any football. It made me miss the sport but I remembered that a new NFL season is approaching quickly, along with some teams having new head coaches. Now that the Houston Texans have finalized the last vacant head coaching slot I figured it was time to examine the newest appointed company men, I mean head coaches, for the upcoming NFL season. This will be a rundown of the new head coaches along with a recap of either their last job or last game to demonstrate the type of person that gets rewarded with one of the 32 best jobs in football.

• Robert Saleh, New York Jets — The true architect, along with Kris Richard, of the “Legion of Boom” Seattle Seahawks secondary that’s had to bounce from defensive job to job while Dan Quinn reaped all of the benefits of his vision and hard work. Saleh spent last season as the defensive coordinator for the San Francisco 49ers and they failed to quality for the playoffs.
• Nick Sirianni, Philadelphia Eagles — Probably the worst public speaker of all time, Sirianni spent last season as the offensive coordinator of the Indianapolis Colts. The Colts lost a barnburner to the Buffalo Bills in the Wild Card round of the playoffs.
• Urban Meyer, Jacksonville Jaguars — Meyer spent the past two years doing television analysis and commentary for college football games to rework his public image, after he was forced to leave Ohio State due to helping cover up domestic abuse by one of his coaches.
• Brandon Staley, Los Angeles Chargers — Staley was the defensive coordinator for the Los Angeles Rams last season. After shocking the world with their Wild Card win over the Seahawks, the Rams defense went MIA in their Divisional loss to the Green Bay Packers.
• Arthur Smith, Atlanta Falcons — Smith spent the last two seasons as the offensive coordinator of the Tennessee Titans where he would garner much praise for running Derrick Henry as much as possible. The Titans explosive offense weirdly went quiet in their Wild Card defeat to the Baltimore Ravens.
• David Culley, Houston Texans — Culley was the wide receivers coach and passing game coordinator for the Ravens for the past two seasons. The Ravens finished dead last in the NFL in passing this past season. Culley is now the second straight wide receivers coach to coach the worst unit in the league and be promoted to head coach after the New York Giants hired Joe Judge. The Ravens feebly surrendered to the Bills in the Divisional round.
• Dan Campbell, Detroit Lions — Campbell was the Saints assistant head coach and tight ends coach for the past few seasons. In his introductory press conference he stated that his Lions team was going to bite kneecaps in order to succeed. The Saints won a blowout of the Chicago Bears on Nickelodeon but were overmatched by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the Divisional round.