Liquidation Sale

  • NFL — Detroit Lions, Jacksonville Jaguars, New York Jets, Washington Football Team, Cleveland Browns. There’s no reason for any sport to have two teams in the same city, and there’s no reason for any sport to have a team in both Washington, D.C. and Baltimore, Maryland. I also threw in the Jaguars and Jets for their histories of incompetent front offices and inability to lure any talented free agents to their franchises.
  • NBA — New Orleans Pelicans, Sacramento Kings, Los Angeles Clippers, Brooklyn Nets, Detroit Pistons, Minnesota Timberwolves. The Sacramento Kings fired their head coach Luke Walton this month, and my first thought was “Wait, the Kings still exist?” We should fix that, along with fixing the other cities that have multiple teams like Brooklyn and Los Angeles. Finally, what will it take to get one of these god-awful franchises to replace the Seattle SuperSonics already?
  • MLB — Baltimore Orioles, Arizona Diamondbacks, Los Angeles Angels, New York Mets, Texas Rangers, Cleveland (Indians) Guardians, and one of the Chicago teams. I’m torn on which Chicago team to get rid of so I’m leaving it as TBD for now, but I know the league would be better without the Mets, Angels and Orioles. Also, the Tampa Bay Rays might be moving to Montreal, Canada so I’m leaving them off this list as it seems they’re fixing their own problem.
  • NHL — Florida Panthers, Tampa Bay Lightning. Arizona Coyotes, Dallas Stars, San Jose Sharks, Los Angeles Kings, Anaheim Ducks, Nashville Predators, Carolina Hurricanes. Seriously, every team that’s not in the northern United States or Canada should be liquidated and either disbanded or moved. The future of the league depends on it.




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Corbin Hicks

Corbin Hicks

Author of The Powers That Be

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