May Useless Observations

  • UO #1: I was listening to The Bert Show the other day and one of the hosts said “The last day of vacation is still vacation” and that really resonated with me. It’s all about being grateful and appreciating things, no matter how fleeting they may be.
  • UO #2: How did people get ordained to officiate weddings before Universal Life Church? I wonder how official reverends and pastors feel about people being able to get certified the same way high schoolers obtain driver’s licenses.
  • UO #3: The only places that have pews are churches and courtrooms. Everywhere else on Earth they’re simply called benches.
  • UO #4: President’s Day is one of the weakest holidays in our country but every business has a President’s Day sale because a large percentage of people should have their tax refund money by then.
  • UO #5: If you have an Instagram account and have zero posts, you’re a creep.
  • UO #6: The Atlanta Braves used to have a controversial mascot named Chief Noc-A-Homa that matched their controversial team name and Tomahawk Chop celebration. For one season in 1983, they also added Princess Win-A-Lotta. The organization decided enough was enough and retired their mascot and created a new one named Homer the Brave, which looked oddly similar to the Mets mascot Mr. Met. After almost thirty years, the Braves retired Homer and created a new one named Blooper, which looked oddly similar to the Phillies mascot Phillie Phanatic. I can’t wait for the Braves to copy the Miami Marlins or Washington Nationals mascot next.
  • UO #7: Remember when everyone owned a pair of Toms and wore them with a Lacoste polo shirt? When are Toms and Lacoste coming back in style? And when can I bring my G-Shock watch out of storage?

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