Slime Zone

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Hey,

This past weekend was an eventful one for NFL playoff football. The Baltimore Ravens won their first playoff game in a decade, the Buffalo Bills won their first playoff game in two decades, and the Cleveland Browns won their first playoff game in three decades. But most surprising was yesterday’s game between the Chicago Bears and the New Orleans Saints. The Saints beat the breaks off the Bears, but that wasn’t the most memorable part of the game. In a first for the NFL, the game was simulcast on both CBS and Nickelodeon. Yes, that Nickelodeon.

The game’s commentary was provided by NFL Network analyst Nate Burleson and Los Angeles Clippers’ radio announcer Noah Eagle, but they were joined by Nickelodeon stars Gabrielle Neveah Green and Lex Lumpkin. They made sure to cover the game as you would expect a normal game, but they also provided explanations, rules breakdowns and wacky graphics for first time viewers. Most importantly, every time a touchdown was scored the end zone would become filled with Nickelodeon’s staple slime.

I don’t want to discuss how the NFL is losing fans because of protesting or player safety concerns. I don’t want to discuss the reasons behind why fewer children are playing football these days. I also don’t want to point out that NFL ratings were in decline this year and they probably felt the need to get creative to bring in new fans. I only want to focus on how much fun it was to watch this game broadcast in this manner, and how the innocence that Green and Lumpkin portrayed while on commentary brought me so much unbridled joy.

Antonio Romo could never.